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Saturday, December 13, 2003
This one was one of my favorites in reply to the same newsletter as the below posts. This guy was too new to SEO to know that I was yelling at him, so instead, he had to criticize the way I place my periods. Enjoy... Hi Jill, I signed up for your High Rankings Advisor newsletter the other day, and just read my first copy of it. All the advice on SEO looks very beneficial, and from what I've read, you have a lot of experience in this area. So, I'm excited to be receiving it! However, I was disappointed to find, as I read your introduction, that you double-space after a period. This is the way we were all taught in typing class, but with today's modern fonts, this is no longer necessary. Surely an experienced copywriter such as yourself should be familiar with this. _The Mac is Not a Typewriter_, by Robin Williams (not the movie-star), covers this and other typewriter-era holdovers. Your abbreviated form of "because" was also somewhat disappointing. This teenager-talk does not become us. Anyways, those are my first reaction thoughts. Thanks for writing the newsletter! Regards, Josh Anyways...I really felt like telling Josh to go jump in a lake (cuz I'm the SEO Bitch), and that I was certainly not one of the "us" that he mentioned, but instead, I wrote the following: Hi Josh, Thanks for your feedback! I'm actually not a copywriter. I'm a search engine optimization consultant. I learned to type with two spaces after the period, and that's how I will always do it. It would be impossible for me to change now. Not sure why it would bother you as it's still pretty standard as far as I can tell! I also like to talk to my readers informally, the way I actually talk, and that's why I sometimes use "cuz." In fact, that's pretty much the appeal of my newsletter. It's informal. If you're looking for something formal, in perfect English, you'll probably want to go elsewhere. That said, I do have a proofreader who spends an hour or more proofing each issue for me to ensure that it's grammatically correct, and free of typos. I don't think you'll find too many other online publications that spend the time or money to do that. To each his or her own, I guess! ;-) Best, Jill SEO Bitch Then there was the email from long time subscriber and email penpal, Bernard W. Hi Jill thanks for the info. I see that you are still struggling! Can't you just except that its all about chucking enough "muck" at the wall and seeing which sticks?? We have no control. Whenever Google changes its criteria you either go up or down. You can't control it . If Larry Page Rank gets up one morning and has a bad head he decides to change his algo ...or underpants ...and the rest of the world quivers and shakes. We could make "good" and "bad" pages ........, but like I have said before its not rocket science, you seo's are no different than blokes in caves chucking muck at a wall... the clever ones see which muck sticks and duplicate the action. Still awaiting apology .... "I told you so" Bernard Bernard is a bit better than most at using initial caps. Still, what is it about the first word of an email that is so hard to cap? Or perhaps the unwritten rule of hate mail is that the first word should never be capped? Gonna have to go back and read my copy of "Hate Mail for Dummies" when I get a chance. SEO Bitch Then there was my friendly subscriber, "Brent," whose email came about an hour after the really nasty one in the last post. Here's his email, in its entirety: what a bunch of bunk. Sorry! But anybody can spew out common sense. Brent Guess it's a theme with mean people. They don't understand why anyone bothers with initial caps. Or maybe he was just so mad that I yelled at him (yes, my entire intro was written especially for Brent), that he simply forgot how to type? I couldn't resist replying to Brent. Here's what I said: Then how come they don't? - Jill SEO Bitch Here's a lovely email I received just a bit more than 2 hours after my newsletter went out with the Just Say No to Algorithm Chasing introduction. You might not want to read it if you are disgusted by strong language: stop it you asshole jill, u bitch. whats all this talk about making up credibility, becoming an expert. all u internet marketers are so sugary and pretentious. have u not heard of real knowledge and real work. do u belong to the same human race that guys like einstein and newton belonged. i am not saying you still have to dream up all those universe defining formulas, but you know what there is real knowledge in them, the search for truth. this SEO is so pretentious, trying to put a company on top by designing GIPs, making it your way of earning bread and fooling companies and their hard working owners. will a company not come on top automatically if they are a top performer in their field, recognized for the quality of their products and services. this is all a water bubble that shitholes like you create. not knowing a word of science and defying people at google for changing their algos. atleast there is some real mathematics and thinking that goes behind those algos. do u even know how to write a Sine function of mathematics that you claim to outsmart real mathematical geniuses at google who create those algos. shame on you, for cheating people and claiming expertise to earn your living. Like I'm going to listen to someone that doesn't know where their shift key is? He is correct, however, I don't know how to write a Sine function. (Incidently, the "S" in Sine appears to be the only place deserving of a capital letter. Oh wait, there's one instance of an all capped SEO...yay!) - SEO Bitch Apparently, my little rant about Google's recent changes, "Just Say No to Algorithm Chasing" has ticked off a few people. Waaa, waaa, waaa. SEO Bitch is here to show you all the lovely hate mail, and ugly nonsense articles that the nasty people of the world like to write. How very sad for them. Jill (SEO Bitch) HOME  | |